Question Existing..

Rihanna's spoken lyrics :

DEAR DIARY,
ENTERTAINING IS SOMETHING I DO FOR A LIVING..
IT'S NOT WHO I AM..
I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT I'M PRETTY NORMAL..
I LAUGH, I GET MAD, I HURT,
I THINK I S*** SOMETIMES...

BUT WHEN YOU'RE IN THE SPOTLIGHT,
EVERYTHING SEEMS GOOD..
SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I HAVE IT WORST..
I HAVE TO ALWAYS KEEP MY GUARD UP..

I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TRUST..
I DON'T KNOW WHO WANTS TO DATE ME FOR WHO I AM..
OR WHO WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND FOR I REALLY AM.......